Τρίτη, 31 Ιανουαρίου 2012

Τι θες;


Δευτέρα, 30 Ιανουαρίου 2012

Patient

A male patient is lying in bed
in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his
mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure
A young student nurse appears to give him a
partial sponge bath.
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my
testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies
'I don't know, Sir.
I'm only here to wash
your upper body.'
He struggles to ask again,
'Nurse, are my
testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
she overcomes her
embarrassment and sheepishly
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his
penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other,
lifting and moving them
around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong
with them, Sir !!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and
says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was
wonderful, but listen
very, very closely.....
' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?'

ΚΙ ΟΜΩΣ ΕΙΝΑΙ ΑΛΗΘΙΝΑ


 
 

Πέμπτη, 26 Ιανουαρίου 2012

British Humor

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms witvih the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her to death in the morning!
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The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so I did.... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
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Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
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The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.... although I must admit, they do make me look a bit gay.
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Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."
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My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a blow-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
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Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend... Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible. Or in other words........... B.I.G.T.I.T.S.
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Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.."
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Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
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On my Census form there is a question "Do you have any dependents?" Apparently putting "Hundreds of Africans, Pakis, Somalians, single mums, Romanians, loafers, smack heads, and non-English speaking people" isn't the right answer. The y've sent my form back!
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Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going.
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Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back. (ouch!)
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The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

Τρίτη, 24 Ιανουαρίου 2012

Τιμοκατάλογος καφενείου στην Πτολεμαϊδα

Άλλο πράμα...


  Είναι άλλο πράμα...
 ...κάποιος να είναι
μαλάκας απ' τη φύση του

 





είναι άλλο πράμα κάποιος 

να έχει
 επιλέξει να είναι
μαλάκας

(και να καμαρώνει κι από πάνω!...)

                                    







κι είναι άλλο πράμα κάποιος να είναι
εντελώς μαλάκας,
κι όταν ρωτούν: «ποιος
είναι ο μαλάκας;
»
να τον δείχνουν οι φίλοι
του με το δάχτυλο
κι αυτός να το
επιβεβαιώνει!!!